Rohan Marley was only about that thing...that thing...that thiiinnggg

Lauryn Hill and Marley on the left, Marley and fiancee, Isabeli
Fontana on the right.
Photo from Ebony.com

So there's an Ebony article about what sistas can learn from Lauryn Hill's situation with Rohan Marley.   Apparently Lauryn had a fifteen year relationship with young Marley and popped out five of his offspring.   Now young Marley is engaged to a younger woman who has no youngins of her own.  One of my cyber people (hey Brit!) pointed out that Rohan is still married to his first wife, whom he married in college.

Who knows? That situation is a mess.

But let's go to the point that the Ebony article attempted to make...I guess. I got a little lost when the writer started lamenting about how marriage doesn't make a woman... So what was the purpose of the article exactly?? I'on know.

To a greater point.  What happens when a person gives their all to someone, only to see them share that all with another?

Last night, I attended a "round table discussion" (I will post more about it later with video) with one of the guy's I interviewed for What He Said. I think he asked the question, "Could you see yourself going from first date to marriage within two years?" I along with another young lady said yes. The other women said "I can't put a time limit on it."

The reason for my answer had nothing to do with ultimatums or time lines...but more so practical dating. I know it does not take two years to figure out whether I could or would marry a dude. Nor is life stipulated on what someone else wants to do.

A lot of "what if he says you're the one, but he is not ready... what will you do?" questions popped up... Ummm...if I'm ready and wanting to marry this particular man...then I decide what I want to do...not wait on him to make the decision for me.

Seems simple to me. The whole "I don't know if I'm ready" thing often means, "I'm not so sure about you..." That's just the truth. A man who knows he wants to marry, will do just that when he is with the woman he wants to be with. Dudes who don't marry women, don't marry them because they are not the women they want to marry.

Then there was the "Steve Harvey said a man has to know who he is, what he wants, and what he's doing..." now at this I almost choked and passed out. First of all, Steve told a dangon lie. (Yes, had to get country for a second...).  Men have been marrying women without a clue as to who they are personally, what they wanted as men, or where they were going for centuries on end. LOL.  Now choosing to marry that guy, is a woman's problem... What are you doing dealing a dude, on a serious level, who doesn't know any of those things?  Love doesn't "just happen"...you choose it.  Surely I digress...

Anyway, back to the point.  For women who end up popping out babies with guys, who they want to marry, but never getting the commitment... Why would you do that anyway? If a marriage is what you want, should not a marriage be what you get? Before you give the benefits of the marriage like a home, kids, shared assets? 

Actually, that's part of what the "round table" was about... "Contingencies"... Are there some things you should have in place, before you give freely of other "benefits"?