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You were cheated on, you just did not know

Photo credit: kahanaboy from

Everybody cheats right? least all guys cheat at some point in their lives.  That's what a couple of ladies said while we were out for lunch the other day.  (They'll probably read this...hey y'all!)

When I said I don't believe all guys cheat, they said oh they do. I said I haven't been in the position of being cheated on, they said... "you were, you just didn't know about it."

Let me just say unequivocally, I do not believe all men cheat.  I believe most people get tempted.  But not everyone takes the bait.  Or they know how to end one situation without dipping into the next.

Do I know men who have cheated? ABSOLUTELY.  I personally know men who have cheated. But that has never led me down the path of expecting cheating or even being fearful of it...which apparently a lot of women are.  And quite honestly, I do not get it.

One of the ladies explained that, even though she feels that all men cheat at some point in their lives, she just wants to find a man who is over being a cheater.

I always wonder where this notion comes from...that men in particular are the cheaters and that all men cannot control themselves.

But then I look around and SOME men push the idea that they cannot be without more than one woman. And some women are always lamenting about being cheated on, going on secret missions to uncover the cheating like inspector gadget....but have you noticed that the same women and same men stay locked in the cycle? Maybe they keep running into each other?

Can you blame these missions when guys say that monogamy is not natural? Or that what one woman will not do, the next one will? When people continue to push the false "fact" that women outnumber men?  That's why many women feel all men cheat...because it is available.

But if you want to continue living your life on high alert and being spied on, continue buying into the BS.  If you want to be free from the fear, at some point you have to acknowledge that cheating is merely a temptation, not a way of life.  A person is not compelled to cheat, he/she CHOOSES to cheat.

Cheating is not inevitable.  It is a decision one makes that creates pain for everyone involved.


Anonymous said…
In my humble male opinion, it's only cheating if you are married. Although boyfriend-girlfriend and fiancee relationships are commitments, they become somewhat of an illegal contract when premarital sex is involved. That being said, it doesn't matter if you have three illegal relationships one at a time or three overlapping illegal relationships, in God's eyes, sin is sin.

Men cheat due to immaturity, selfishness, and boredom. Sex isn't really the main interest, it's the excitement of the situation and being able to enjoy a woman without having to endure all that comes along with relationships - if men had to go through the development process of a full on relationship to sleep with every women they sleep with, there would be far fewer cases of cheating.

Selfishness is a big part of it. Women who are worth marrying, tend to lack excitement. Eventually, after love has set-in, men find themselves torn between whats good for them and whats good to them, but bad for them. I takes some strong will power to d he right thing sometimes.

It all boils down to maturity and respect. If a man is out doing him, he's probably not thinking about the woman who loves him, has been there through the good and the bad, and is loyal to him. One has to be immature to not consider such an individual and ignorant not to realize that she could do everything he's doing.

If a man respects his woman and their relationship, he won't cheat.

- Ex-cheater
CM said…
Interesting concept "Women who are worth marrying, tend to lack excitement." What kind of excitement? And why do you think that is?

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