Mr./Mrs. Don't Judge Me wants Mr./Mrs. Perfect

Desmond Hatchett has 30 children

Ever noticed how people get all up in arms if you point out that they have made some jacked up decisions? "Don't judge my past" is often thrown out there as a defensive strategy. Meanwhile, people who have decided to be careful in their lives, and not make risky decisions, are oft made to feel less than because they don't have as much "baggage".

In the dating world poor decisions may impact whether or not someone will date the Mr./Mrs. Don't Judge Me.  If a person has multiple children by multiple people, a criminal record, bad credit, poor physical appearance, and a nasty attitude, how does that person expect to be accepted as is?

I often see, or hear, comments from people that attempt to excuse their past as something that should be forgivable by everyone.  Yet these Mr./Mrs. Don't Judge Me types continue to want Mr./Mrs. Perfect.  Why is a person who has made better decisions and taken care of themselves, made to feel guilty because he/she desires someone equally situated?

When I attended The Round Table Discussion last week, a young lady said that having children out of wedlock was irresponsible.  Let me tell you, it set some of the guys off!  One gent said it shouldn't matter how many children a man has as long as he's taking care of them.

Do you bring your financial woes into a new relationship?

 wanted to say...Dude...are you crazy?! So let me get this straight.  A man can be out spreading his seed all willy-nilly, but then have the nerve to want a chick as pure as the driven snow?  He gets this woman with no extra personalities to cater to, mouths to feed, or opinions to hear, but she gets a man with additional parties tagging along? Where is that alright?

I post topics of discussion from time to time on Facebook.  Today a guy asked if women would date someone who had spent time in prison. The women who said no, were called shallow.  A short time ago a guy was called lame because at forty he refused to date women with children.

No, I'm not saying that a person's past should be the deciding factor on your decision to be with him/her, but it does play a role. Some people do not care the number felony convictions, babymamas/daddies, or creditors knocking on your door.  They only care about how you treat them. That is fine. You should not feel bad about your past decisions, but at least have some humility. Understand that a person does not have to look over your baggage, and can take it into consideration.  We all have baggage of some sort.

And don't get upset with a person who has taken a different route in life, and does not want to travel down your long and windy road.