Myth: He will treat you how he treats his mama

People say this a lot: Watch how a man treats his mother, because more than likely he will treat you in the same manner.

Former Rep. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick and
son former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick

Being the contrarian, I am, I never bought into it.  Mainly because I noticed that the relationship between a number of mothers and sons is a very complex one.  Much like the one between fathers and daughters.

Now, many men may select women based on how they view their mothers.  But the same treatment will not necessarily follow.



Mothers are authoritarian figures.  Sometimes demanding.  At times controlling.  Then on the flip, some are very loving, nurturing and sometimes coddling. Often mothers put in a number of years crafting the way their sons view them.

Due to the established level of their relationship, some men will jump into a burning building to rescue their mothers because she has earned it.  Those same men would let a significant other go up in smoke because she hasn't put in enough time to deserve it.

Then you have to think about the other relationships men have with their mothers...It isn't always a good one.  Some men have overbearing mothers, who they respect, but don't love.  Though he may appear to treat her with loving and tender care...it may be out of deference and not desire.

Moral of the story: You cannot operate in life based on cliches. Dig deeper.  What do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comment box! :)

Some folks had this to say about the matter:

CM Writer

If you want to know how a man will treat you look at his relationship with his mother. True or False? Why?

 ·  ·  · Yesterday at 8:56am

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  2 people like this.
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    VC: False. Ome mother aren't treating right. Don't mean that man does not want love in his life and a woman to treat well. And the last time I checked most black men love their mothers dearly but most don't treat their as good.
    

    Yesterday at 9:14am via mobile · 
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    JN: False. I know guys that treat their mothers well and still dog their girls..
    

    Yesterday at 9:14am ·  ·  9
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    SK: False... Some men don't have mothers
    

    Yesterday at 9:17am via mobile ·  ·  1
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    VC: I know dudes that seen their mothers abused and beat women as learned behavior. They love their mothers but mstreat their wives and girlfriends.
    

    Yesterday at 9:17am via mobile · 
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    YS: I agree with all of y'all. Some dont have "moms", which I'm referring to single fathers, adoption, drugs & young mothers living as a big sister rather than a mother. Some have the greatest relationship with Mama, but They dont ever see a woman, even a great one, that doesnt compare to her
    

    Yesterday at 9:21am via mobile · 
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    TN: False. The relationships are different. No comparison parallels mother child.
    

    Yesterday at 9:24am via mobile · 
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    DTP: False: my mother had me at a young age. I'm pushing 40 and she's in her early 50's. We go back and forth like brother and sister a lot, not disrespectfully, but it gets heated often.
    

    Yesterday at 9:25am via mobile · 
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    CM Writer Although I am surprised by the responses. I am also pleased! LOL I'm so tired of people pushing this foolishness as truth. I told someone earlier that some men see their mothers .5 notches down from Jesus, while others see them .5 notches up from the devil... But they hardly ever see them in the same realm as their women.
    

    Yesterday at 9:27am · 
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    VC: Your mother gave you life, took care of you when you were sick, and spent her last cent to make you happy. You wife won't do that. Sorry
    

    Yesterday at 9:41am via mobile ·  ·  1
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    ST: False. My husband doesn't treat me like he treats his mother. He loves her but he treats me better.
    

    Yesterday at 9:43am ·  ·  2
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    CM Writer ‎VC, not everyone had that type of mothering. And some have that type of wife.
    

    Yesterday at 9:45am · 
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    VC: True.
    

    Yesterday at 9:46am via mobile · 
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    ST: Once a man marrys a wife, he should put her first before everyone else, including their kids, says the bible. So, he shouldn't treat his wife like he treats his mother. he should treat her better.
    

    Yesterday at 9:48am ·  ·  1
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    BG: That's about as false as a three dollar bill. I have said with 1,000% sincerity that if I met a my-age version of my mother, I would set an Olympic/World sprint record running in the other direction! My mother was/is a PERFECT mate for Dad based on his definition of a good woman. Alas, DAD and I were/are two entirely different people. I wouldn't put up with 1/10th of the $hit I saw him take of Ma! I'll treat you like my mother if you act like her, but if you acted like her, I wouldn't be dating you, so the point is moot. I mean that in a good way. :-)
    

    Yesterday at 9:48am ·  ·  2
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    YS: True, VC. My mom wasnt able to have that "maternal" gene, just as I dont. Granted, my boys r treated better than I was. I dont see how a mom cant b placed on her own pedastal if she deserves it, & ur S/O should, if deserving, should also have their own, but dont make up the false statement that every man'll love u or treat u like he does Mama. Some dont have a closeness & some'll b all abt Mom, so the next woman'll never compare
    

    Yesterday at 9:52am via mobile · 
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    JMVS: my ex treated his mom like a queen and treated me in a much less desirable fashion. I don't believe that statement is true at all.
    

    Yesterday at 9:54am via mobile ·  ·  2
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    VC: ST, the bible also say sex is for married people.
    People raise your hand if you waited until marriage before sex. People sem to reference and adhere to the Bible when it is convenient.
    

    Yesterday at 10:08am via mobile · 
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    AND: This statement is not true for most men.. As a little girl growing up with quite a few uncles.. Most of the women they dated fell in love with the relationship they (my uncles) had with my grandmother & the idea that they would be treated the same. They hung on with all of those expectations, but we're soon very disappointed.. There is nothing like a mother/son relationship.
    

    Yesterday at 10:14am via mobile · 
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    CPH: I agree with what most said. I do think to some extent the way a child sees their mother treated / respected or not sets some notions as to how women should be treated or respected. In my experience, if the father figure obviusly respected the mom, openly valued her opinions, etc... the child tends to expect / display that same behavior.
    

    Yesterday at 10:25am ·  ·  1
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    RM: i think to some degree it matters..... but you are a fool if you think im gonna treat you like i treat my mother.... i might come a lil close to it... but you ARE NOT......... my mother....or my sister... aunty..... or grandmother.... i wouldnt want a man to mistreat / disrespect them..... & i would do my best to not do that to you..... but to expect something EXTRA or SPECIAL from me because i love MY mother??????? really??????? what have you done for me to warrent such reverence???? !st of all you FAIL in an EPIC way seeking what my mother receives from me....smh.... i grew up around a bunch of women ( 5 1st cousins & 7 sisters ) i know what to do how to do it & what not to do....just because i do/ dont do it for them.. doesn't mean im willing to do it for you..... dont make assumptions about how you will be treated based on the relationships that i have with the women in my family... you NOT family....
    

    Yesterday at 10:43am · 
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    RM: so what do you do / think about the man that has no relationship w/ his mother or hates/ dislikes/ wants NOTHING to do with his mother???
    

    Yesterday at 10:44am · 
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    DH: False, to an extent. If the guy disrespects his mom on a daily basis and treats her like crap then I hope the female doesn't expect anything different.
    

    Yesterday at 10:44am · 
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    BB: In my experiences, the men who had bad and/or NO relationships w/ their mother were not exactly the best boyfriends....on the other hand, the ones who had good relationships w/ their mothers treated me very well..
    

    Yesterday at 10:48am · 
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    RM: my friend asked me a question a few yrs ago when he thought he was gonna get married....: what would you do if you were in a situation where you had to choose btwn saving ya mother or ya s/ o ( live in gf) ... maybe ya wife....i choose my moms....& would stll would choose her even over my wife.... you can get another wife/ gf but you cannot get another mother...i told him that my mother means more to me than ANYONE....PERIOD....he told me i was wrong.. & that my wife should be my priority.... that might be true...but my moms is THE most important....sorry...
    

    Yesterday at 10:49am · 
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    MM: Very True...
    

    21 hours ago · 
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    CA: False, my mother doesn't know me.
    

    19 hours ago via mobile ·