Day 12 DV AWARENESS: Examine yourself
Have you ever found yourself going in circles, repeating the same relationship mistakes over and over again? Do you tend to attract the same type of person who takes you on an emotional roller coaster?
You may not want to hear this, but...it's not them...it is you.
The funky thing about life is, we tend to draw to us what is already in us. If we want to bring about change, we have to first look internally instead of externally.
To make internal changes, we really need to get to our core existence. So, examine yourself. What are the ways in which you think, speak and act that bring negative energy into your life? What role have you been playing in your relationships (platonic, romantic, and familial)?
What poor behaviors do you need to unlearn and replace with productive ones?
Are there some things that have hurt you in life that you've never quite healed from?
Do you know how you would like your life to go?
Start from the beginning. Reach all the way back to your childhood and deconstruct all the negative things that have shaped you. Deconstruct all the negative things others have said about you.
Focus on your strengths and reclaiming your most positive self.
If you have a tendency to give too much, find out where that started for you.
If you have a tendency to talk to people crazily, learn where talking crazy originated in your life.
If you live in fear of being hurt, go back to the first time you were hurt and look at how resilient you were or can be.
Sometimes you have to be broken all the way down in order to be rebuilt with the power and authority over your life and love you were meant to have.
You see, we all kinda come here as a blank slate (the theory of the trabula rasa) that gets written on by life events and circumstances. Some things you're going to have to erase through healing and forgiving in order to move forward in life.
To truly love yourself and find that love of self, you have to become intimately acquainted with the you who is buried beneath everything that has been done to you, said about you, and experienced by you.
You have to get to the core and renew the live, esteem, and wonderful uniqueness that has been bogged down by the world and all of its shenanigans.
After you remove the damage, love will flow in. Now, don't get me wrong, we could all use help in getting to that place. There's no shame in using therapy to help you dig deeply to discover what makes you tick. After therapy, you have to make a concerted effort to effectuate change in your life.
Find every moment you have been made to feel unloved, uncherished, unappreciated and unworthy. Dig them out....and destroy them through letting go and forgiving.
Therapy can help you find the roots, but you're going to have to do work to dig them out. Once you are finished digging, you can replace with love, confidence, wholeness and peace.
And you don't have to always do this alone. It is important to have a great spiritual foundation and some human connections to help you through.
I wish you well in your journey toward loving who you are deep down on the inside and pushing that live to the outside. Because chile, when you love yourself...can't nobody hurt you anymore and can't nobody tell you nothin! (Southern saying for: your self esteem will skyrocket 😉)
