Skip to main content

Tip Jar

Day 14 DV AWARENESS: Judge righteously

We have already discussed examining yourself a couple of days ago. Now let's talk about examining other people. 

Some time in the 90s, Tupac left an indelible mark on the psyches of folks. He made it so that folks were running around saying "Only God can judge me," as if it were scripture.

Now people will also say that the Bible says, judge not...but they cut all the rest of it out. 

The New Testament text is as follows:
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
— Matthew 7:1-5 KJV (Matthew 7:1-5 other versions)

I always felt like people took this the wrong way. This passage basically means don't be a hypocrite because the same way you judge folks, you will be judged. That doesn't mean you can't judge people, it just means mind the way that you judge them.

23"If a man receives circumcision on the Sabbath so that the Law of Moses will not be broken, are you angry with Me because I made an entire man well on the Sabbath? 24"Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment."

No, I'm not getting all religious, but since folks are always throwing this "judge not..." Thing up, I figured I would give the full an extent. 

That means, look not at superficial things when examining people...get to the core. What's in the hearts and souls of people? You know, sometimes heart sickness manifests itself in crazy ways, some of those ways are alluring but dangerous. It is hard to deal with a person who's heart is sick and in need of healing, especially when that person refuses to seek help. 

Let's just be real, some folks just don't belong in your life at certain times in your life. That is why you need to examine a person's words, actions, and motives. Sometimes you get weak and vulnerable, that is not the best time to have someone in your life who will take advantage of you.

You may be quite unable to help that advantage taker learn the error of his or her ways. Now, if he or she came across you at another point in your life, you might be able to offer some positive influence. 

Everyone and everything is not necessary to have in your life. So yes, you can judge  a person's irresponsible past (and present) behaviors, by getting to the core of what caused him or her to move the way they moved and behave how they behaved, and discovering whether or not the impetus has been removed. 

If a person has lied his or her whole life, then he or she may be a forever liar...or there could be a reason he or she is escaping life and truth through lies. Don't judge the surface, get to the bottom of things, then decide if you want to deal with it. Now, after examining, you will make an informed decision on whether or not you want a liar in your life.

Trust, people need to judge you too. There are things about who you are and what you do that don't jive with their lives, and that's okay. There are billions of people on this planet, some belong on your paths, others are trespassing.

You have to be wise enough to figure out who is who. 

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Guy Secrets: He treats his friends better than you

I know, the title of this blog post may have caused a screw face with some of you. However...many women often complain about how much time their men spends with friends.
There's a reason for that... If your man spends more time away from you and with his friends... It's because he likes them and feels obligated to you.
That may seem a little crazy, but someone really can love you, but not like you very much. If your relationship is more like a chore than a good me, your dude will always look for an escape. He will take on more hours at his real job, join an extra rec league, hand out with his boys more, etc.
There is a cure for that, though... If you and your boo have a genuine friendship...enjoy similar activities, can talk and joke with each other, really find joy in each other's personalities...he will actually want to spend time with you.
More than that, when a dude considers you a friend, he feels more free and less tied down. Honestly, dudes secretly de…

Curves Connect: Online dating for real people seeking real relationships

Many people find online dating frustrating. Between the lies and game playing, the fear of being "catfished" and the sensory overload they have decided that online dating is a waste of time. Others see online dating as no different than traditional dating and actually feel it is more convenient. Where do you fall within these two contrasting perspectives? 

Husband material

Husband material... It was something my college friends labeled my college boyfriend. They would say, "Girl he is husband material, you'd better hold onto him," as I looked at them dumbfounded. What made him "husband material," exactly?

As a matter of fact, what is "husband material" anyway? What does that even mean? The way I figure it, being husband material requires more than great physical attributes, though those don't hurt. It means someone who can actually sustain a healthy relationship. It is more than going to church every Sunday, paying tithes and being on active duty in church ministry, though many a church girl swoons over such actions.

Good decision-maker
To be husband material, a man has to have a track record of making good decisions that far outnumber his bad decisions. I mean, we all make mistakes, but multiple "mistakes" are not mistakes at all, they are more like habits. Furthermore, to meet husband material criteria, a…