Day 18 DV AWARENESS: Have it your way

Do talk remember that song that Alicia Keys sang about having a relationship like all these famous couples? Bill and Camille, Oprah and Stedman, Will and Jada...yadda yadda...

Let me tell you something... I don't want a relationship like any of those folks because I don't know their struggles and have enough of my own. LOL 

I get the point though, she was talking about the positive aspects that we perceive to be part of their respective relationships. The thing is...some of their "good" may come with sacrifices that you're not willing to make. That's why it is best to craft your relationship your own way with the person you're in it with. 

If you saw your daddy treating women a certain way, that doesn't mean you need to follow suit. If papa was a rolling stone and it left you unstable...do you REALLY want to roll like he was rolling? If mama couldn't get right in her relationships, do you really want to live like she was living. Even if mama and daddy had a beautiful relationship, you're not in a relationship with either of them...so you gotta check with your love to design your relationship. 

I know people who have been married for decades and they have been through some stuff!! 

The journey you go on in a relationship is unique to the people in it...so who better to chart the course than you and your partner? Y'all know best what works best for you. I mean...if you don't know, it's  up to you to figure it out. 

Your relationship has to be built on the communication, actions and emotions of the two people in it. Mimicking what you've witnessed in other relationships may be the exact wrong thing for who you're with. You can't be lazy about it. You have to work together. 

If you are traditional and like being old school with your mate and y'all get along well with following traditional roles, do it and don't worry about what people have to say. If you're a stay at home dad and your lady a beast in her career, who's to say what y'all have going on is wrong? 

It's one thing to look to others for some relationship guidance, it's another to try to become a carbon copy of someone else's relationship. Looking at other folks as relationship goals can turn into fool's gold. 

Remember to talk to your partner about the relationship you want more than you talk to other folks, who can't do anything about it. Remember to make decisions with your partner about relationship issues because no one can change things to make it better, but the two of you. 

The kind of relationship you really want, can only be created by the two of you. If you want to have a relationship your way, make it your way.