DAY 23 DV AWARENESS: Create your own happiness

What does happiness mean to you? Do you ever think about what it would mean to truly be happy? 

The other day I wrote about not allowing anyone to steal your joy. But what if joy has been so absent from your life that you don't remember what it feels like?

It gets like that sometimes just through the rigors of living, you can lose your happiness along the way. One of the biggest causes of losing your happiness is looking for it in other people. 

Happiness is one of those feelings that has to have a fertile starting ground. That means that you have to prepare the place in your spirit for happiness to grow. 

It also means you have to choose the appropriate seeds to plant in order to grow your happiness. 

Let's talk about the fertile ground...

Nothing you plant can grown on rocky ground. So it will be hard to plant happiness in a spirit that is in constant chaos or that has been hardened by life's disappointments. Dealing with the past and letting go will soften the spirit. Removing unnecessary drama will alleviate the chaos. 

It will be equally difficult to plant and grow anything in mud. When you are drowning in tears from hurt and heartache or up to your eyeballs in other people's problems, you cause your own ground to become muddy. Taking care of your heart and spirit should become a priority for you in order to have firm ground to plant good seeds. It's fine to care for other people, but not to your detriment. Also, everyone gets hurt at some point in life, but you cannot wallow in your hurt. Once the cause of the hurt is gone, it's up to you to release yourself from the after effects. 

Good things can be planted on ground that is firm and pliable. That means you have a level of strength that keeps you from wilting and a level of softness that opens you to positive seed planting. 

The seeds 

The seeds of happiness are those things that motivate you, make you smile, give you laughter, and promote your purpose in life. You have to choose those seeds, which makes it your responsibility to choose wisely. That means anyone you choose to become part of your life should bring positive seeds into your life. Choose the bearers of good seeds, not the weeds that will choke out what you've already planted. 

So, be choosy. It is okay. This is your garden of happiness. Decide what you want in it. Choose the friends, family,  loves, and activities that bring good things to plant in your garden. If they don't plant food seeds then filter them. Every seed bearer doesn't have to have access to your garden. Know that you can say "No," "I don't like that," "I will see you later," or "this isn't something I'm interested in."

You can find good seeds in doing things you love. If you've given up a lot of what you love, reacquaint yourself with those acticities. Like singing? Take up karaoke. Need to get fit? Find a fit buddy to workout with. Love helping people? Find a volunteer group. 

Gardeners

Now people can also act as co gardeners of your garden of happiness, but you remain the HGIC "head gardener in charge."  When someone shows you their worth in your life and have shown themselves to be honorable, trustworthy and dependable, respectful and loving...it is okay to allow them to help you care for your garden of happiness. They can help you build a fence (relationship) around it that protects it, waters it, help with upkeep and harvest from it (reap the benefits of your happiness). 

Just remember, the Primary responsibility for your happiness lies with you. You create a place for it, you choose what adds to your happiness, you decide what you need to filter out, and you choose who you will allow to share in your happiness. 

This all means you cannot find your happiness in someone else's garden. Your happiness is in your own garden. Some people allow you to enter their garden and share in their happiness, just as you would allow someone to enter your gRden and share in your happiness.