Day 2 DV Awareness: RESPECT


Let me tell you something that is huge to most people: RESPECT.

As we are on to day 2 of DV Awareness, I wanted to pinpoint a large issue that I've seen in DV cases, or just toxic relationships in general...a lack of mutual respect.



Think about how you would normally respond to someone you have respect for/hold in high regard. You actually consider how that person views you. You take a moment before popping off to consider how the person will take it.

Most times, you calm yourself before acting out of pocket because you don't want that respected person to think less of you, AND you think more of that person than to cause him/her undue harm or embarrassment. 

You have placed this person in a position of reverence, where there is a hedge of protection around the person that blocks out any of your attempts at foolishness. 

When the respect level is high in relationships, there is a tendency to consider the other person in decision-making and actions (either positive or negative). Relationship partners are seen as equals when respect is at the forefront of the relationship. 

You speak differently to people you respect, than those whom you do not. When someone respects you, he/she speaks to you in a manner that, at times, gives deference to your point of view. 

Abusers typically are individuals whom feel out of control and therefore satiate their own instability by trying to control others. When there is mutual respect, the struggle for power and control diminishes. A person will be less likely to feel out of control, or have the desire to control, when mutual respect is present in a relationship. That means he/she 1. GIVES RESPECT/IS RESPECTFUL, 2. RECEIVES RESPECT/IS RESPECTED, and 3. HAS SELF-RESPECT.

If it is impossible for you to respect someone and/or that person to respect you, what is the point of continuing the relationship? 

Respect makes it ever so difficult for someone to mistreat you or him/herself. Self-respect helps guide a person's moral compass. Respect for others helps guide a person's treatment of and interaction with other people. 

Respectful people resolve conflict in more beneficial ways. They deescalate instead of escalate turmoil and chaos. They communicate in more diplomatic ways, and they hold due regard for the other person's esteem.

If a person orders their own lives in a disrespectful manner, you do not have to invite him/her into your own. Mutual respect is extremely important for a healthy relationship. 



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